So I WAS lied to. There IS Internet cafes in Yangon. Can’t access Internet based email, but knowing your pop server addresses and having a list of anonymous proxy IP addresses (Stealth/elite for those in the know) goes a long way. You’d think the government would hire professionals to spread misinformation and prevent even mere mortals like me being able to do what I like. no offence guys, but Vietnams restrictions were harder to get passed!

Anyway, I got here safe last night after a nice flight through a thunder and lightning storm on the worst Airline I have flown with since Aeroflot to Mexico (Remember that Mammy?) Reached my hostel and they guys were still there… yeay! Struck me as odd, but they were sitting in reading and talking, not drinking. Seems like everything must close early here I was wrecked, so I just went to sleep.

Today was amazing. Yangon was NOTHING what I expected it to be. Its like…. a dirtier and more crappy version of Bangkok. I was not expecting to see the same thing here. People spit blood or something everywhere and its like everyone has gingivitis. They have some weird chewing gum stuff that makes their mouths red. I need to try me some of that. Aparently its like a snuff, gum, nicotine sub but who knows.

Anyway, regarding something else I had a preconception about…. I was right. I took a walk today which lead me here and I am like to only foreigner here. I’m glad in a way that “Nobody goes to Burma!” but it feels kinda weird. I have not done the touristy things here yet, I think I’m gonna leave it until my way back down because everyone else has seen it all and I would like to travel with them up north to Mandalay. I’ll decide later.

Don’t know if 400 Euro will last me here and I already changed some of my money at the Airport (Stupid mistake that Jim WARNED me not to make) and was ripped off by about …… 50% !!!!!

Anyway, I have a time limit here so I have to go.
I’ll try update again soon. Just to let the carers know I’m safe.

Be careful and good luck with exams.
Miss you lots like blood red shots.
David

OK, my final update from Thailand and maybe my final update for a while seeing that my flight to Myanmar/Burma is tonight and if all goes out well (Assuming that there is a massive lightning storm already abrewing). Anyway a few little bits of crap I wrote down to mention before I forgot….

First of all, Jennifer, I finally made it to the cinema! I sat down and thought I broke the seat, but it turns out, they are reclining seats! Like in a fantasy world! Second of all, in Thai cinemas, you have to stand up at the beginning of every movie to pay homage to the king and watch a little video on how great he is. There is air con and you are allowed put your feet up and the armrests are reclinable too so you can generate more space for yourself. Went to see some crappy “Down with love” or something like that with Ashton Kutcher. Fell asleep twice. Can’t wait for Sin City to be LEGALLY available and also House of Wax….. wow, I am sooo going to regret writing that when I read over this in the future!

Speaking of movies, how bored and broke I have been is obvious here, I watched “The Merchant Of Venice” the other night. Just wanted to mention that Al Pachino’s acting as Shylock was the best I have EVER seen. Also, if anyone gets a chance, check out the new Family Guy and American Dad eps…. oh, and buy some new underwear or watch it in your nude poised over a large piece of Tupperware!

Anyway, enough of the non travel related stuff.

Got myself a Thai Bank account… don’t know why? Well, I’ll tell you….. they’re the only country stupid enough to give me a credit card. albeit a prepaid mastercard! Pretty cool service, only took like 30 seconds and I was set up and had the card in my hand. WOW, I am here WAY too long. I am really looking forward to getting outa Bangkok now. Can’t wait to meet up with my friends in Yangon (Prev. Rangoon) and head to Bagan. Heard great things, but I guess I’ll be experiencing them soon. Oh well, has to be done.

Apologies for my recent stagnant posts and lack of constructive and relevant travelogue content.

PS: if I hear that Akon song “Lonely” one more time, I’m coming home.

Sarah, I hope your feeling better. Good luck with the exams, I’m thinking of ya. Send my best wishes of luck to the girls as well.

To everyone in FT-228-2 computer science, I hope you all do crap in your exams so I have some company next year Only joking, break an algorithm….BUH! You know its funny.

@@@ <— Tumbleweed!

If I cannot update you from Burma, see you all soon and I wish you all the best. Be good to each other.

Lah Ghorn
Dave

OK, after my previous post, I think I should clarify that , in the words of Incubus, “It’s just a phase”. Was feeling a little browned off for the first time. I’m all better now despite the fact…. ready for it…. My new phone, the Samsung D-500 was STOLEN the other night. Oh well, I learned my lesson… no more phones, expensive ones, for me.

I met up with Gavin and Nena (Who dragged along two new guys from England going to Burma) and we went to a house party in the back arse of nowhere. Absolutely DEADLY night, but when everyone woke up in the morning, one person was gone. Some English p%$ck along with me and Nenas phones and 5000 Bhat from the owners drawer. Just goes to show, don’t even trust the rich foreigners you meet along the way!

The party was really great, Thai people are so friendly and nice I cannot get over it and its nice to be away from the bars and clubs and just being here…really. Nice to meet up with the others who did a REALLY nice thing for me…. read on.

Unfortunately, due to my overindulging on expensive phones and squandering my budget on good times, I have found myself, for the first time since travelling, absolutely SMASHED BROKE. I literally have 50 Euro in my Bank account. I have my ticket to Burma booked (Was supposed to leave on Friday) but obviously now cannot because theres no ATM’s in Burma.

Anyway, the guys said that they would stay until Monday (Because we all got open tickets to Rangoon/Yangon) which I found REALLY nice. I wish I had some photos of everyone for you guys, maybe Ill just buy a disposable and get them put on a CD before I leave.

Anyway, apart from that, I met up with Bren and Dell (Can’t remember if I mentioned that already) and had a deadly laugh. Hmmm… I did mention that already. Check out their website www.brenanddell.com to keep an eye on their adventure to date and lets see how quick Dell finds himself in the same situation as me now Only pulling your giant one Dell!

Totally adapted to the weather over here now and I really think I’m gonna die when I come back to Ireland soon. Oh well, I also went to a “witch” (You know who you are) doctor about the skin on my back and owing to a very expensive German remedy… I’m almost cured! It does involve sleeping in my nip though… hehehehehe.

Down to 7 smokes a day now with a little help and as of Monday I’m to be either on 4 a day or off completely. I really think I can do it this time. My little witch is a legend. Nice one.

Finally, and this is not the reason I “Lost” my camera… but I lost a bet and I have to grow my hair long. Its been going almost 3 weeks now and because I have been shaving it at an almost daily rate for the past 6 years, its growing at a hyper rate now. Its the longest I can remember and it looks crazy. i do look stupid, but aparently the Asians like it, and it has to stay until I come home. I’m actually starting to like it. Don’t be surprised when I get home!

I’ll drop another update before I leave, probably a few more than that. I’m still feeling weird. If I’m still this dizzy tomorrow, Ill go to a hospital.

Now I know how the horsies feel
SHHHHHHHHH

Look after each other.
Dave

Sorry for the complete lack of updates in the past hmmm… week or so? I’ve been having the best time here in Thailand away from all the tourists and crap that goes with any place full of tourists. East of Thailand is so much cooler, literally and figuratively, than the… rest, I just had to stay.

As I said, I met so many cool new people, mostly Thai and I can probably speak better Thai than I can French right now. Weathers getting worse here due to it coming into rainy season but thats just perfect for me.

Anyway, my “adventures” are no longer adventures, and as it seems now, never were, its all in the eye of the adventuree. Anything new can be considered that. I will be soon changing this sites name to something new

The people I have met in the past month have been the real treasure of my experiences and I will never forget them. Too many to mention, but I can safely say that my fear (If I did indeed have any) of Ladyboys and Strange ecentric gays has be asauged and after speaking in DEPTH to a lot about why they chose their path, I can safely say I now understand.

Apart from that, I have met some really great “Normal” people (I am aware that I completely contradicted myself just there! ) and some really nice westerners that are here for the same reason I am (Apart from being kicked out of a neighboring country) that being, to desperately seek something new as much off the beaten track as possible.

I have now lost my camera and 2 phones and to be honest I don’t care. Got a new phone and I hate it. Stupid Samsung D-500. Phone of 2005 my arse.

Anyway, I am heading to Burma on Friday morning, so there will be no more communication from me for a “Few” weeks. and to be honest, I’m having way too much fun here to be going to all the trouble of coming to somewhere with the Internet and updating with the same old news. I’m sure your all bored with it by now anyway! HEHEHE

Anyway, I’ll update you readers soon as you can probably tell, I’m exausted and need a rest.I think its a bit of depression knowing that my trip is BEGINNING to come to an end. Looks like I’ll go to the cinema tonight. First time since travelling! Chill out and reorganize my brain.

Take care. Miss you all.

Happy Aniversary Sarah! 5 Years and still toghether! (Albeit the furthest we could possibly be apart). I love you so much and I’ll see you soon.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In an effort to become more of a rag “journalistic writer” you will have noticed that I am starting to use, or attempt to use more witty puns in my headlines. This one referes to two things…. I’ve put on a lot of weight (So I’m back to what I was when I left) and I got my mobile stolen

Sitting in a nice little cafe sipping mocha, texting my lovely girlfriend (About to) and some little shit comes up and snatches it from my hand. Before I realised what happened he had disappeared into the crowd. Oh well, looks like I’ll just have to get a more up to date model when I get back to Bangkok Sunday. I’ll update the site with my phone new number if anyone is interested.

Anyway, back to business…I’m still getting on great and s till having an absolute ball. After my less than cultural visit to Laos I’ve been dropped back into the deep end of the culture pool and having a wonderful time learning to swim. Met so many new friends, mostly Thai that are by FAR the most friendly I have met so far. They all have money too which means they all have trucks and cars and do not have any hidden agenda. Read the full story

Well, I got arrested this morning and it was the WORST possible time. At least I wasn’t charged. Gotta love this part of the world, if you have money, you can do what you like. Long morning but an experience all the same. A tattoo and a deportation is all I have left to do on my list. (Well, I am excluding waking up with someone older than my mother for obvious reasons)

Got up early this morning and decided I’d rent a motorbike and go see the city. After getting lost I came to a pretty busy junction. Only one problem, there were no traffic lights. Everyone stopped and I was waiting to turn right at the top of the queue. I was waiting for SOME sort of sign to go and I got it…. the cars behind me started beeping. So I just drove and turned right. WOW, I have never heard so much whistling and shouting in all my life. I knew I did something wrong and I stopped. Good job because there were 3 police men on me within seconds.

“You speak Lao Falang?” he questioned. “Mai Dai, bas putt nitnoy Thai” I replied. (I don’t, but I speak a little Thai”). He proceeded to tell me what I did wrong, as much as I could understand anyway, and I was supposed to wait for the green light that DID NOT EXIST to turn green.

I smiled (As per lonely planet instructions) and I laughed a little too and it seemed to diffuse the situation a little, or maybe that was in my head. Anyway, he made me wheel the bike a few doors down to the police station where he brought me into a room with another new man. At this stage I began to shit myself a li’l.

After asking him to “Putt Tcha-Tcha noy Khrap, Phom mai Kow-Jai” (“Speak slowly please, I do not understand”) he went through it about 20 times. He was waiting for something from me. But me being the idiot, did not know what.

He then asked me for my passport. WOW, BIG PROBLEM. My Visa expired today (This morning actually) and I had no outgoing ticket to produce, so that was me in even worse books.

He told me I had to pay the fine for the traffic offence and the passport offence and that I had to stay tonight and call my embassy. I was shitting! Then he started going on about the same thing as earlier. He tried another three times then it finally hit me. Remembering the time in Bangkok with the smoking offence, I said ‘Ahhhhhhhh, Jet Roy Bhat!” which caused some smiles and a proceeding hushing.

I felt like Homer Simpson when him and Bart became Carnies and Chief Wigum came to shut down the Stall.

I took out the money and handed it to him (It worked out at about 14 euro) and he said ‘Mai Aw! Mai Aw!”. Confused I looked at him. He gestured to the floor. Filled with the fear of looking stupid, I put the money on the floor. The two men, one a silent party until now, smiled, gave me a ‘Khop Jai li li” (“Th ank you very much”), shook my hand and presented me with the door, which I was VERY happy to be walking out of.

I know it was not a big offence, but I was so happy that I learned my lesson. I could have saved myself an hour and a half waiting and feeling scared if I had have just given them the money in the first place on the street.

Moral of the story? “If you are western, a small ‘GIFT’ goes a long way and saves a lot of time”.

Anyway, as a result of my little incident, I realized that I need to get out of this place or pay a $5 a day extension fee. If I go down to friendship bridge (The border crossing to Thailand) I can cross, come back and get a 15 day visa for $30. It seems like theres no options for someone who only wants to stay a couple of more days. I need to know what the story is with people wanting to meet up with me in Bangkok so I know how much time I have here. I need to go to Pakse then to Don Det (Not that many of you know where the hell that is! OR EVEN CARE!)

I’ll keep you all updated if anyone is bothered.

Regarding Vientiene, Its a nice little city. Very small but confusing.All along teh river, it kinda reminds me of Saigon (HCMC). Dry season akes teh river look quite ugly though.

I’m staying in a weird little dorm right now. Thees a 71 year old man, a weird Japanese guy and some Swedish and Australians. Everyone seems pretty old though. I’m on a loner buzz right now so I politely declined their offer to come to the market with them. I’ll feel a bit bad if I see them there later but I’m sure they will understand.

I’m in the process of uploading some more photos of Laos. Ill upload a couple from Vang Vieng right now. Check out the photo section if you’r interested in more Laos and some more birthday photos.

Saibii Dii.
Dave

Just a few photos of my birthday celebrations. Only a few here cos its sooooo feckin slow over here. Happy Birthday to me. Had a REALLY happy Birthady. Thank you everyone for coming! And thank you for all the lille nick nack gifts. I know your all poor, so they ment a lot. They will not be thrown out! Hopefully you will all get to experience the kind of birthday I got to experience one day. Hopefully in Vang Vieng in Laos too! Tonn, thanks for having us all night!

Thank you for all your birthday wishes and emails. Had probably the best birthday ever! Missed only one thing…Sarah. Never had so many people sing happy birthday to me in my life! I’d love to write more but I’m still celebrating. Its been wonderful and I’ve met so many wonderful people and got lots of nice….presents.

The weird thing about Vang Vieng is that there are SOOOO many Irish here. They really know how to celebrate a birthday abroad and because everyones here for the same reason, everyone is cool and chilled out and literally EVERYONE bought me something (Small of course!) for my ascent into adulthood.

Marissa (Shitebag! {In a thick auzzie accent}) organized the singing and her gift was one of her dreadlocks. Jocelyn (Still cannot spell it) organized the cake (Pizza) and Cyril and Jay provided the….entertainment. Been tubing, Kyacking, cliff diving (Man….Its sooooo much higher and shit yourselfy than it looks!) and visited some caves and villages. Tomorrow as the last day of a three day celebration (as per traditional Lao style), we take out motorbikes to the lagoon in the jungle. I’m the ONLY person without a Laos tattoo (A motorcycle accident scar) so I’m due that pretty damn soon. Probably tomorrow.

Got an infection in my right foot and stood on a rusty nail on my left this morning climbing up the wrong way out of the river. As with everything bad, its my own fault. Watched the sunrise, and the constant thunder and lightning storms and my birthday was ILLUMINATED by fireflys. They are so fecking cool looking! And it made everything so …..magical. I wish Sarah was with me for it.

Since I got to Laos, I’ve met up with Cyril again, Jay again, and Andy and Bob from Vietnam again and met so many new people. I am so happy here….. but nothing lasts forever. I could spend the rest of my trip here actually!

I’ll dedicate a day tomorrow to upload some of the wonderful photos of the most beautiful , magical and awe inspiring place on earth.

Sorry if it sounds like I’m talking like a … shitty. (HEHEHE, I’m so whitty! Only to those who understand that. I’ll NEVER forget. ) I still haven’t come down.

Amazing how western and CRAP Thailand seems after seeing this. This is REALLY stone ages stuff here. (Coming from someone typing away on the Internet!).

Anyway, Ill give a PROPER update tomorrow night and try get some photos and videos uploaded if its at all possible.

Sabaii Dii.
Dave